what is---or, more accurately, what was---a bride? and what is her relationship with deities who bring light?
well, in the beginning, it seems that a bride was a woman who was pregnant for the first time.
let me repeat that: bride = fertile or nubile young woman, very possibly the first-time pregnant woman.
the period of maidenhood likely would have started with first menstruation. it was the antechamber to bridal status, but not the same as a bride, and certainly not--at least originally--related to virginity. by the way, latin virgo, origin of english virgin, connoted a young/unmarried woman, or a state of being fresh, unused; and related virga, a young shoot. see also latin virid- with meanings of green, blooming, vigorous. this all seems to have to do with readiness for sex, potency, a strong power of liveliness and growth potential, fertility. only much later did virginal acquire a specific sense of sexual chastity, and a feeling that sex for young women outside of marriage was problematic. in some cultures, the younger, prepubescent girls acquired a similar status of reverence and ritual potency which terminated at onset of puberty. but i suspect this to be a somewhat later development, at least in certain forms.
this movement from childhood, in which reproduction was not possible, to young adulthood, in which fertility was possible, seems to have been regarded with great interest, and viewed as requiring ritual demarcation. we can't know all of the ways in which this ritual recognition may have occurred, but it's likely that a girl's dress and/or hairstyle/head-dress was changed to mark her new status. that was certainly the case in folk tradition and history; the bride has been marked by her special dress and/or ornaments for as long as we have words or imagery to convey it.
these identifying features could include a netted or woven apron, a specially woven/patterned/braided belt, special skirt styles (back apron, back apron + front apron, or full skirt), a new hairstyle (such as long single braid, for daily and elaborate braided styles for special occasions), or ornaments worn on head or temples. many of the symbols and materials used are protective or apotropaic, intended to ward off harm. once metal-working was advanced enough, there is use of reflective metal pieces, that sparkle and deflect light. certain colours such as red or black or green were associated with fertile status. floral wreaths or crowns marked the bride, indicative of fertility ('blooming'), just as pregnant women are often described as blooming up to the present day. brides indeed are also described commonly as blooming, blushing (flushed with life and passion as much as any shyness), and radiant. they are filled with life energy, with potential creation. they burgeon. these fertile beings were considered magical participants in the life force and full of a kind of fortunate power which could be beneficial to their families and communities, but also potentially dangerous to themselves and by extension to others, if anything went wrong.
once a maiden, she was now 'marriageable' or eligible as sexual partner. this does not necessarily mean, in every case or time, that pre-pubescent children were never sexually active. what was being recognised was the potential for pregnancy, originally, but we have no way of knowing (and much cultural history to the contrary) whether our remote ancestors felt pre-pubescent girls or boys were not suitable sexual partners for adults or for each other. probably not; nature was, well, natural, and readily observable in humans and other animals. there would have been little privacy, and until fairly recently in human history, children were seen as small, apprentice adults, expected to mimic adult activities. however, people were keenly observant, and capable of noting higher infant and maternal mortality in the very young, as well as less successful breastfeeding in that demographic due to fewer menstrual cycles experienced. some cultures evolved customs restricting sexual activity or marriage with very young girls, perhaps for this reason as much as any queasiness about sexual activity with youths. a separate but interesting consideration is that it is possible that puberty and menarche occurred somewhat later than is our current reality, due to a variety of factors including physical effects of artificial light and high-calorie diets and xeno-oestrogenic substances in the modern environment, as well as cultural changes. at any rate, whenever menarche appeared, it seems to have been noted with avidity. the girl having crossed into maidenhood was a figure of interest to her whole community, in a special phase of life where her potential as a life-bearer came to the fore.
traditionally, virginity was associated with potential fertility--unused yet, and potent. but a bride was often a pregnant woman, not a woman who had not had sex yet. pregnancy was considered the completion of womanhood. to be barren was considered unlucky, at least amongst neolithic and later farming or pastoral folk, and a woman who was 'married'/mated for some time without successful pregnancies or a single woman past her 20s or so was often obliged to indicate her infertile (non-bridal) status by altering an element of her dress. also well evidenced are beliefs that women who died without bearing children became liminal, equivocal figures like the rusalki of slavic myth, whose unused fertility could be both dangerous or leveraged for the community's good. folk traditions document acceptance of young couples having sex, in 'courting rooms' that were part of family homes or in outbuildings and natural environments, and choosing to be married/live together once pregnancy was evident, without any stigma, until christianity became well-ensconced. indeed it was considered the normal and desirable course of things.
bridal status often endured until first pregnancy was completed, or until the successful delivery of a living child. her bridal attire would be retained at least for festivals and often in daily life until then, and the words referring to her were those used for a bride, not terms for a mother, wife, or other adult woman.
hair, associated with life force, was often subject to taboos; loose (unbraided or uncovered) hair was associated either with childhood or 'maiden' status. in some cultures, a single braid was equated with maidenhood (potential but unused fertility; later, single versus married status), and two braids (divided to indicate either pregnancy, potential pregnancy, or sexual initiation, and later, married status) meant an adult or married woman. sometimes the bride's head-dress and hairstyle were ritually changed at the end of marriage ceremonies to mark this transition. hair might also be required to be covered in an adult woman (including older girls, presumably those who had experienced menarche) or in married women. this would originally have been done to signal their potentially fertile status and protect it from evil spirits who were thought to be drawn to the power of a fertile woman or assumed to be attracted to blood. the link between appearance of body hair in young people and onset of puberty was made early. in boys, seminal emissions would follow. in girls, monthly bleeding followed. both demarcated the person's passage from childhood to adulthood, and were considered numinous and in need of ritual signalling. in some cases, boys would then begin hunting with men or go to live apart from the women for a time of instruction by men.
on the subject of blood, taboo could affect men and women. hunters were subject to blood taboos, but in their case the blood came from death. "blooding" of a young man or boy who has made his first kill in a hunt is a custom that still continues. taboos and customs aimed at distributing or offsetting 'guilt' from, as much as celebrating, a successful hunt are widespread. there are also many examples of blood taboo rituals aimed at containing any evil spirits associated with a kill; hunters (or men, generally) may have a separate entrance to a home, or game may be cooked separately from other food even including, in some cases, domesticated animal meats. in nubile women, blood came from menstruation and parturition. either way, blood and spirits were associated and surrounded with taboos.)
differences in lifestyles and ecological carrying capacity likely influenced how people viewed pregnancy and fertility. those living on the edge of sustainability may have found reproduction/fertility a threat to the individual and group survival, and so did not develop positive recognition of fertility to the same degree as other (in some cases, later) cultures. but fertility was universally acknowledged as an important principle, as hunter-gatherers recognised the fertility of all life/the land and its creatures as necessary for their sustenance. human fertility was potentially dangerous, both in terms of individual risk of death in childbirth, and in terms of its impact on resources for the group. whether or not they understood the mechanics of conception and its link to sexual activity---and there is good reason to think that many did, even in remotest times--they definitely felt the idea of potential fertility was important and fraught with peril from both the natural and the spiritual realms. from this ancient concern, it is likely the idea of containing, restricting, guarding, channelling fertility originated. the taboos and restrictions placed on menstruating women or the later (often but not always post-patriarchy) emphasis on chastity and marital fidelity of women were in their origin protective of individuals and of the group. in later cultural and religious manifestations, a negative slant would accrue, with terms like 'sin' and 'impurity'; but these later developments are a significant departure from the probable origin in recognition of power plus vulnerability, and a desire to protect it.
being a bride means engaging in the ongoing process of universal life forces, of which humans are a part. a bride, in the origin of the term or concept, means a woman who is pregnant or capable of becoming pregnant, with all of the risks and/or rewards that may entail for an individual. it was seen as a numinous, deeply necessary, and in many cases desirable state of being. to refuse it was in some cases or cultures considered impious, bringing ill luck and want on the person and all connected with her. this concept coexisted with other cultural perspectives in which unchecked reproduction was seen as a threat, and in which contraception, abortion, and even infanticide were normative and desirable at times. both perspectives existed in human cultures prior to patriarchy and 'civilisation', and it is somewhat unfortunate that we must look at customs and beliefs about women and fertility through the superimposition of patriarchal controls and priorities, as that considerably muddied the waters. watching scholars attempt to interpret human customs in this area shows how muddy; we see people overstating 'goddess culture' and interpolating modern neo-pagan perspectives into ancient or folk culture evidence, as well as the opposite impulse, insisting that any mother goddesses or matrifocal cultures are bogus relics of jung's and bachofen's (or 19th C romanticised folk research) influence. we see it in scholarly or popular inability to comprehend the simultaneous existence and value of life-supporting and life-taking aspects in a single deity or group of related deities, or in describing every deity associated with fertility or birth-giving or maternity as a sideline area of a group's religious life, unrelated to broader aspects of protection, fortune, and livelihood. whatever a culture's perspective on human fertility, whether seen as threat or benefice or both, the concern with its control, protection, or promotion was of paramount importance to ritual activity, and a central concern to people throughout the ages.
so a bride is a human woman in the service of the life force, willy-nilly. and she is considered to be blooming, radiant. interestingly, there are deities who share these attributes, and sometimes even the name of bride or a related term for brightness, radiance, light. they are most represented, as one might expect, in northern regions where winters are cold and dark and difficult historically, but surely older and other versions exist far back into human history and all around the world. as i am writing in mid january in the northern hemisphere, i am focussing on the northern figures. they are light-bringers, life-bringers, protectors/promoters of life and warmth and increase. and frequently they have a foil who is associated with cold, darkness, and death...they are propitiated so that they may show their kinder side and bless people, rather than remaining disposed to punish, kill, or cause decrease of fortune. often the 'dark' side goddess is referred to as the hidden, meaning she is hiding the light or the light is hidden within her. bride, bridhe/brede, bridget/brigid, brita, berchta, bertha, lucia, lucy, perchta, holda, hella, holle, are some of her names. the meanings of the names reinforce the ideas above: the first seven literally mean light or bright. perchta means hidden. i suspect that perchta as well as the last three mean held/contained, or concealed/covering (as seeds or the dead are held in or covered by earth, and as a foetus is concealed in the womb). when paired, the one goddess is usually all things warm, light, beautiful, and youthful (basically, fertility incarnate), whilst her winter-time partner is everything cold, dark, frightening, and old/infertile. the bride and the cailleach (old woman)...two faces of the same being.
but lest we think, with our modern tendency of over-simplification, that the elder face of the goddess had no point but to be the foil of the bridal one, it should be observed that the old woman form was often assumed to have charge of the dead, both literally in the sense of being the earth holding the buried dead, and in the sense of caring for spirits/souls and preparing them for reincarnation in some cases. often the elder goddess explicitly cared for the souls of dead infants and children. sometimes, small children are shown accompanying the light goddesses as well, like the 'star boys' or 'tomtenissar' and 'lusse brides' who follow lucia, or the 'straw boys' (guisers) with the little girls carrying the image of bride/st. bridget before the goddess returns at imbolc/candlemas.
imbolc itself is an interesting holiday, combining facets of the return of the light and fertility to land and creatures with other seasonal winter solstice-to-spring observances like well/water visits, weather forecasting, divination, and feasting. this festival is well-attested in the irish and scots contexts, but shares features with other observances from winter solstice to candlemas in the UK and north, eastern, and central europe. (and even further afield, into asia minor and india...) the irish name is given variously as imbolc or imbolg or oimelc; the first two meaning in gaelic 'in the belly' or 'burgeoning/budding/swelling', and the latter either "ewe's milk"(contested etymology) or an unknown word oi +"purification". it's also possible that im-bolc/im-bolg might be read as fat belly, 'butter-belly'? (compare to maslenitsa in slavic cultures.) indeed the holiday does coincide with the early lambing season, and pies made of the lambs' docked tails were said to be a traditional feast item at candlemas/imbolc. but i strongly suspect that the words and meanings related to 'burgeoning' are more germane here---as this is a festival for urging the transition forward from winter to spring. people looked for buds on blackthorn and other trees at this time, awaiting this visible signal of spring when often the land was still cold, sere, and even snow-covered, and whether or not lambing had begun. and what more obvious symbol of burgeoning than the goddess bride, radiant and youthful, with swelling belly? purification rituals did occur at this holiday, and may have to do with preparing for birth and preparing for spring, jointly.
the main activity for imbolc was crafting a doll-like figure of the goddess, the brideog ('little bride"), either an abstract image like a 'corn dolly' or a broomstick or churn-dash with a dress and head (sometimes a carved turnip, sometimes drawn on the wood itself, and at times described as ferocious looking), and parading it around the land prior to placing it in a bed of rushes by the hearth. i think in the original custom, the bed of rushes was seen as bride's accouchement place, rather than a bed for sleeping; women in labour rested upon rush beds. a white branch of birch or peeled wood was laid with the brideog, called bride's wand. in some areas of ireland, a 'virgin branch' (a stick or braid of rushes wrapped with white ribbon) was laid upon the graves of recently deceased girls who died before being married...echoing the ancient theme of concern with fertility, potential or realised, and a sense of danger or tragedy attendant on the unrealised fertility of those who died before bearing a child. rush-woven 'bride's eyes' or "bridget's girdles" were made in a sun-wheel with cross-shaped ornaments, big enough for people to crawl through, which was believed to bring healing and luck. the familiar rush 'brigid crosses' with three or four arms were made as well at imbolc, and placed in house and barn for protection. a mother-in-law might make such a rush-woven cross and singe the four arm ends before placing it beneath the mattress of a newlywed couple, for fertility. leftover rushes from the brideog's bed and cross-making might be added to grain at sowing time, or made into rushlights. and on imbolc, it was said that the cailleach gathered her firewood for the rest of winter, so if imbolc was fair, she could gather much wood and winter would last a lot longer. a cold, wet imbolc conversely would keep the cailleach inside, unable to gather much wood, and she would shorten winter accordingly. both the elder and younger forms of the goddess were called upon to keep flocks and folk safe from wolves, and preserve the family from harm and want generally.
finally there is the odd old verse spoken at imbolc: "today is the day of bride / the queen (or serpent) shall come from the hill (or mound) / i will not touch the queen / nor shall the queen touch me." this is in contrast to the verses spoken on imbolc eve, when house doors were opened and the family cordially invited bridhe in: "the house is ready, the bed is ready, let bride come in and welcome." as ireland has no snakes, the verse is a puzzle...but slavic and turkic cultures did have a snake queen, who dwelt underground or in a mound/hill. slavs might have a house snake, a small, harmless snake fed milk and allowed the run of home or barn, and protected with care as it was thought to bring luck and fertility to the family. and the etruscans and romans had their lares, ancestral spirits worshipped in house shrines often painted with a snake. (it was thought that children dying before their 40th day became a lars for the family...an echo of the ancient concept of dead babies returning to the family line?) possibly the mound referred to a burial mound originally, and contained a memory of snakes coming forth in the warm weather retained from ancient times elsewhere? perhaps the chthonic queen was both frightening and revered, coming from the earthy place where the dead were, and she was not to be touched both out of safety and respect. the bride might be invited in with safety, but the serpent from the land of the dead must be left to do her will apart from human touch. yet perhaps she might bring a soul from the family's line to rejoin life in a new baby, quickened by the bride and her human incarnations.
i am no linguist, and well aware that easy equations of words that sound similar or seem to constellate around a given meaning can in fact be totally unrelated. but i would love for someone with the expertise to look into the words bride, bright, breed, brood, birch, and possibly birth, burden, and even braid and bird...i am sure that bright and birch stem from PIE bhereg, meaning shining, bright, white, radiant. i'm not accepting the hypothetical derivation of bride from PIE bhreu, (brew, boil, cook) at least not in the sense usually given (the work of a daughter-in-law). but perhaps in the sense that a bride had "a bun in the oven", ie, was 'cooking' a new life inside her, bubbling with life force--yes. and the lists of cognates that simply mean 'daughter-in-law' as an extension of the simple 'woman about to be married' or 'newly married woman' look as if they are a later vision, or one that reduces the concept to merely one of patriarchal relationship whilst forgetting the original meaning of *why* a woman was marriageable. see also PIE bhrto/bher (bear, carry) for an origin of the word birth, central to this whole question. a bride is indeed all of these things, a being bright, warm, bubbling with new life, carrying a child, brooding/breeding, deft at household tasks that transform raw materials into useful or beautiful things, preparing for birth, perhaps wearing a distinctive braided hairstyle, and possibly a newcomer to a household as daughter-in-law. the goddess who shares all of these attributes might also be braiding the fates of children yet to come or spinning and weaving the strands of fortune for all who look to her...
why do tears come when we see a young bride at her wedding, though it is a happy occasion? could we be remembering an old, old sense of the hazard she might run in accepting pregnancy, not to mention the vicissitudes of married life in patriarchal times? yes, weep for the girl who may pay for pleasure with her life, who leaves her family home to live with strangers, whose value will lie in bearing children and working hard in house and farm. weep for the weight she takes on her pretty young shoulders, the weight of turning the wheel of all life, and bringing a family forward in time. "the one life eats itself", and the bride is there, filled with life force, waiting to be consumed by life. even the goddesses reflected this central human figure, symbol-weighted and poignant, powerful and perilous.
